Postcard home (written in New Zenglish)

Today the weather is mostly fine here in N-ZED. We walked out of the bach and down the road to find some good nosh. As we head north the beach is scattered with heeps of kiwis kicking back with their chilly bins and a cold glass of Sav and we think… “Sweet as“. We stop in to a cafe for a long black for takeaway. The waitress begins to chat us up and finds out we are on a six month holiday and says “Good on ya.” We head to the postie to mail some cards to our mums. On the way we witness a fender bender and the two drivers get into a barney in the middle of the road. One of the drivers is in quite in a tissy, as his Mercedes is quite flash. We leave the mess behind and head to the store to get some fresh fruit and veg, we hear that the rock melon and capsicum are in season so we decide to pick up some. We can’t forget the mince meat for our homemade pies. The woman next to is buying nappies, of which will soon become rubbish in the landfill and what a bummer that is on this beautiful island. Cheers mate, we will be home soon.